Clinics and Tryouts

We are still riding high on our recent win against A-Town. What a great game! The score was so close throughout and we took a win only at the every end. And what a great group of ladies!

We hope you enjoyed the bout as much as we did...and maybe now you are thinking you might even like to play roller derby. We would love for you to join us on the track!

Photo credit John Wijsman

You are in luck!

We are holding skating clinics on the following Sundays 4-6pm at The Skate:

• November 30th 
• December 7th
• December 14th

We realize that you might have some hesitations and we are here to help. If you haven't skated since 10th grade, are convinced you are not the most graceful of people, or maybe have some skill, but would like to get some practice in, these clinics are for you!

Come on out to work on basic skating skills and see how we run our regular practices.

You can borrow skates and gear to start (though you will need to bring your own mouth guard, which can be purchased for a few bucks at Walmart), but you must be prepared to buy skates and gear if you want to continue. The staff at The Skate will help you order what you need because, let's face it, there are a lot of choices and things get confusing.

What my hair looks like after derby practice

We will hold tryouts on January 4th and 11th. I have previously written about how to prepare for tryouts, but I would like to add: "attend our clinics" to that list. Though you do not have to attend the clinics in order to attend tryouts, they will give you a head start!

Roller derby is great exercise, a fun way to meet people, and it is great to be a part of something that does so much for the community. Come be a part of the world's fastest growing sport!

We can't wait to see you at the clinics and tryouts!

--Bilbo Stabbins

Catching up with your DIre Skates!

Sometimes keeping up with a derby girl can be tough.

I am here to help!

Your Dire Skates have been so busy out in the community, volunteering and talking about fitness and health (and, of course, how derby contributes to that). We worked with Habitat for Humanity, visited the Y Camp, sweat it out at CityFit, and hung out at CityLife.

Seen here: future members of our junior team, The Skate Aways!

We just had tryouts and have brought on a good bunch of new girls who are currently being whipped into shape (that process is top secret, but look for updates very soon). And we just played a game against a crazy good team, Midwest Corn Stars. We lost, but we had a blast.

Don't let the mustaches fool you

Our next bout (or game as it is now officially called) is an away one, as is the following one, but we will be back home on November 15th when we will be playing to support BRAvo!. Stay tuned for more info on that--we have some fun things in store for you derby fans!

We have been and will be all over the place, but there is one sure way to find us: the smell.

--Bilbo Stabbins

So you wanna derby...

Have you thought about joining derby?

(If you've ever been to a bout, then answer is very likely a resounding "YES!").

Well, we are holding tryouts on June 22nd and 29th and we would love to have you join us!

Here are a few things you should know about our tryouts and joining derby in general. 

1. It's okay if you can barely skate (or cannot skate at all). We will train you. Even if you cannot roll around the track without falling a billion times, you can join if you want it bad enough. You will have a tougher time in the beginning, but derby is all about working hard to get what you want.

2. You should be exercising. Now. I should be exercising instead of writing this blog. We make a lot of what we do on the track look pretty easy, but unless you are getting some cardio in or going to Zumba or lifting weights (or all of the above!), you are probably not going to be fully prepared for the level of physical activity required for derby. It's nice out. Go for a walk, do some squats (they are your friend), and strengthen that core! You need a strong butt to hit people with so get to work! Additionally, The Skate has summer hours so if you'd like to get time in on wheels, do it!

3. You will have fun. We are hilarious and stinky and hilarious. We will make sure you feel comfortable during tryouts and afterward, but please come with a good attitude, come ready to learn, and come ready to make friends!

4. Wear comfy clothes. It is hot in The Skate (the word "Mordor" is spoken at least thirty times during each summer practice), but you also need to be able to move around and fall in your clothes.

5. We will provide skates and gear for your tryouts ONLY. Bring your own mouth guard (I will gladly share my stinky knee pads with you for tryouts, but I barely know you so sharing a mouth guard is really pushing it. $2 at Walmart will do for now. Skaters and The Skate staff can help you order gear and skates that will work well for you and within your budget.

6. You will smell awful because you will be sweaty and because you will be borrowing a stinky vet's gear. Derby stank is real.

7. You will fall. And you will get up. And you will fall again. We will teach you to fall correctly before we teach you to do much else. Safety first. 

8. You should be watching roller derby. Come to our bout on May 10th if you can! But there are so many bouts streamed online through DNN, there is a wealth of derby (women's and men's!) within about an hour of here. One blog provides .gifs of cool plays, interesting footwork, or to illustrate specific rules. It helps! And it's fun!

8. Did I mention that it will be fun?! I am serious. Everyone is so nice and we genuinely want you to join us on the track and in this whole crazy thing we call derby. 

There are other things you can do like start thinking of your derby name or stock up on cool socks and tights, but ultimately, come prepared and make sure you feel comfortable.

If you want more info, message us on Facebook, email us at thedireskates@gmail.com, or talk to your favorite roller girl.
We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

January Skater of the Month: enTRUdir

Editor's note: This is a new feature! We'd like to honor a Dire Skates member each month in order to show all the behind the scenes and on the track effort the players put in. As we have previously written about, derby takes a lot of effort and a lot of DIY and sometimes the unicorns are actually members of the team. Look for a new "Skater of the Month" early each month!

enTRUdir, aka Trudi, blocks for the Dire Skates. Trudi tried out for the Dire Skates in January 31, 2010 (which was only the third meeting/practice for the team in the first round of tryouts for the team ever) after watching Naptown play the night prior in a bout called "Scar Wars." She is now our fearless leader, the glue that holds us together

enTRUdir is the official convener for the team, meaning she coordinates meetings and votes and makes sure we all do our jobs. She is basically a goddess. (Have you tried wrangling 20+ women into doing something? Not easy.) She has also been a fabulous mentor to us new skaters, constantly talking with us on the track and off during practice to help us grow as skaters. Trudi is level-headed, and serves as a great mediator. She records videos to recap our meetings to make sure we all know what is happening (because notes...who reads things? Wait...). And she reminds us that we can't cuss or be vulgar around the junior skaters...as much as we hate that, we know she is right. You know what, Trudi does so much that I don't even know what else she contributes (coordinating, logos, merch decisions...she's involved in all of it). enTRUdir is an invaluable member of the team and for that, we love her.

In addition to this, she works full time and is the mother to junior skater PUKE Skywalker who, I must say, has some big shoes to fill.

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about enTRUdir:

"Trudi…..what can I say about Trudi….she is one of the most thoughtful hard working people for the team. A lot of what she does in the background and doesn’t get seen directly, but you definitely see it indirectly. She is a quiet leader and is always willing to get out of her of her comfort zone on the track. She is always willing to help others. She doesn’t look to be in the limelight, she doesn’t want it. I am glad that I can say that I coach her, but even more, I call her a friend."

And Emily KickNsuM added this:

"Trudi is one of the older members and on the team and I don’t mean age, I mean the length of time she has spent with the team. Trudi has always pushed the team to hold to higher values and be a positive influence in our community. Her values off the track are very much the same on the track. Though she might not be the fastest skater on the team or have the hardest hit, Trudi is a solid blocker for the Dire Skates. More importantly she uses team work, knowledge, and communication on the track to get even more accomplished than big hits. I have several special memories of Trudi--one of which includes that we both went to the first Dire Skates tryouts and tried out together. To sum up the memory, she has come a long way from a girl in blue jeans with brown clown rental skates on."

Thank you for all you do, enTRudir.

Derby love.

New Recruits

Just last month Dire Skates officially voted on six new members (AB Fab Eddie, Bilbo Stabbins, Smack Widow, GOREgon, Jenocide, and a yet to be named teammate (who clearly needs to read this) though we had all been skating with the team for months. We all came in at different times, with different levels of ability and are still quite varied on our skating ability and gameplay, but here we are. Let me say this:

Joining roller derby can be complicated.

This is not to dissuade you from trying out!

Sean Bean wants you to try out. Will I be using Sean Bean often? The answer is yes. Emphatically, yes!

Every team has a different process for joining the respective team and sometimes actually JOINING is confusing. I am speaking only about my experience with Dire Skates, though you'll find that experiences with other teams are quite similar in this regard.

When you first tryout, you are called a "new recruit" (newbie) or "fresh meat," depending on the team--there are probably other terms, but these are the terms used here.

Be warned: searching Google images for "fresh meat" is less than appetizing.

There are certainly some negative connotations associated with the latter term, but it is a phrase commonly used in derby culture. And, honestly, after a good practice I definitely feel like a giant slab of meat that has been hung up and punched repeatedly. In a good way.

Being a new recruit means there is a sort of probationary period where you are invited to be on the team, but are not technically on the team.

During this time, the new recruits train and practice with the team. Some teams have a short training period or workshops with trainers from that derby team and then hold tryouts after (Naptown and Circle City do this--this seems to be a difference primarily between larger cities/teams vs. smaller cities/teams). Either way, there is time when you are sort of on the team and sort of not, or when you sort of play derby, but not exactly. Try explaining that quickly to someone.

Or you just receive blank stares.

Once the player has reached a certain physical level or has shown certain dedication to the team, and typically once they have passed all minimum skills requirements, (that list is seven pages long in case you didn't look. SEVEN. MINIMUM! GAH!) they are voted onto the team. One of those minimum skills is that we can do 27 laps in 5 minutes, by the way (this used to be 25), which feels insane.

Actually it feels something like this. Is that why Terahrizin wears cheetah print?!

At this point, once you are voted on, you are on the team and no longer a new recruit, though you may have been practicing with your new teammates for months prior. In this way, it is nice because you are all friends, sisters, and, now, teammates.

Not only is the phrase "new recruit" somewhat confusing, but shifting from this sort of complicating category of almost-derbyness (that's a real word, right?!) to an actual member of the team requires a great deal of work: sweat, tears, vomit, bruises, aches, pains, blood, and more sweat. You can celebrate this awesome feat by taking a nap, singing loudly despite protests from your derby sisters, or making someone rub your feet or whatever celebratory action you so choose.

So be sure to welcome all of us "new recruits" as we are newly shifting into our roles as teammates and be sure to look for the "Spotlight" features where you will be introduced to all of newbies.

--Bilbo Stabbins

Junior Derby

Roller derby is great because anyone who WANTS to play CAN play. You can be taught to skate well and the strategy involved in gameplay can be picked up as you go. The only restriction is that a potential skater must be overage, but NO MORE! Come hang out with us, ladies ages 11-17. We are excited to meet young women interested in derby! Come learn about derby (of course), but also come to reap the benefits of derby: exercise, community, fun, and more!

Ignore that date, come join us any Sunday this Novemeber 4-5pm at The Skate in Richmond. Still not sure? Feel free to come watch our practice during that time and see what you think.

I hope to see you out there!

--Bilbo Stabbins