So you wanna derby...

Have you thought about joining derby?

(If you've ever been to a bout, then answer is very likely a resounding "YES!").

Well, we are holding tryouts on June 22nd and 29th and we would love to have you join us!

Here are a few things you should know about our tryouts and joining derby in general. 

1. It's okay if you can barely skate (or cannot skate at all). We will train you. Even if you cannot roll around the track without falling a billion times, you can join if you want it bad enough. You will have a tougher time in the beginning, but derby is all about working hard to get what you want.

2. You should be exercising. Now. I should be exercising instead of writing this blog. We make a lot of what we do on the track look pretty easy, but unless you are getting some cardio in or going to Zumba or lifting weights (or all of the above!), you are probably not going to be fully prepared for the level of physical activity required for derby. It's nice out. Go for a walk, do some squats (they are your friend), and strengthen that core! You need a strong butt to hit people with so get to work! Additionally, The Skate has summer hours so if you'd like to get time in on wheels, do it!

3. You will have fun. We are hilarious and stinky and hilarious. We will make sure you feel comfortable during tryouts and afterward, but please come with a good attitude, come ready to learn, and come ready to make friends!

4. Wear comfy clothes. It is hot in The Skate (the word "Mordor" is spoken at least thirty times during each summer practice), but you also need to be able to move around and fall in your clothes.

5. We will provide skates and gear for your tryouts ONLY. Bring your own mouth guard (I will gladly share my stinky knee pads with you for tryouts, but I barely know you so sharing a mouth guard is really pushing it. $2 at Walmart will do for now. Skaters and The Skate staff can help you order gear and skates that will work well for you and within your budget.

6. You will smell awful because you will be sweaty and because you will be borrowing a stinky vet's gear. Derby stank is real.

7. You will fall. And you will get up. And you will fall again. We will teach you to fall correctly before we teach you to do much else. Safety first. 

8. You should be watching roller derby. Come to our bout on May 10th if you can! But there are so many bouts streamed online through DNN, there is a wealth of derby (women's and men's!) within about an hour of here. One blog provides .gifs of cool plays, interesting footwork, or to illustrate specific rules. It helps! And it's fun!

8. Did I mention that it will be fun?! I am serious. Everyone is so nice and we genuinely want you to join us on the track and in this whole crazy thing we call derby. 

There are other things you can do like start thinking of your derby name or stock up on cool socks and tights, but ultimately, come prepared and make sure you feel comfortable.

If you want more info, message us on Facebook, email us at thedireskates@gmail.com, or talk to your favorite roller girl.
We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

February Skater of the Month: The GOREgon

The GOREgon, aka Nat, blocks for the Dire Skates. Nat tried out in the late summer of 2013. She did not come during regular tryouts, but instead attended a practice and skated with the team because she wanted to see what things were all about after seeing Bilbo Stabbins and Ab Fab Eddie's excitement about the sport. Those first few practices were tough, but she kept coming back. Nat has gone from being an interested spectator to a true force on the team.

The GOREgon is new to the team, but that does not mean she hasn't taken up some derby duties. In fact, it is difficult to see how these things were getting done at all before she arrived. GOREgon has worked diligently on our headshots, group photos, and other pictures for the team. The new website is her domain as well (we know you can't see it, but we can and it looks great!). Nat has also been working hard with others to get us new jerseys, focusing both on the design and the logistics of ordering. In addition to team duties, The GOREgon works hard on herself; she is working hard mentally and physically to become the best player she can be and as my teammates and I can see, she has come so far!

In addition to the countless hours The GOREgon spends on derby, she works, reads all the books, and crafts all the things (in fact she even crafts derby things, making necklaces, shorts, and skirts for her derby sisters!).

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about The GOREgon: 

"Nat, "The GOREgon" is probably one of the most improved from when she first put on skates at that 1st practice. Her endurance is extremely improved and she continues the hard work both on and off the track. She is a great asset to the team and I am glad that she is with the Dire Skates."

And Terahrizin added this:

"I would say Nat is one of the most improved new skaters we have. The first time I met Nat she spent a fair amount of practice time laying on the floor complaining and in pain. The next few times were the same. Eventually (pretty quickly actually) she spend more time on her feet and talking about what she could do to get better. That is what derby is all about. Few of us are natural athletes. Falling down is ok, crying is ok, puking is ok……quitting is not.

Not only is Nat getting better and better on her skates, but she is also a major contributor to behind the scenes stuff for the team. Helping with pictures, working on the website, sewing shorts and skirts for teammates, working out extra and motivating everyone."

Thanks for all you do, GOREgon!

Diary of a New Recruit: Passing Laps and Getting Bout-Ready

As we have previously written about, going from being a new recruit to a full member of the team is complicated. The place where all of us new recruits have been "stuck" for a while is laps. This is one of the WFTDA minimum requirements--it requires all skaters to be able to skate 27 laps in five minutes on order to be able to play. Recently Jenocide passed her laps and in this past week Smack Widow and I, Bilbo Stabbins, also passed our laps, which means we are technically bout-ready!

Bilbo Stabbins passes laps and immediately needs a nap and afternoon tea.

Look at Smack Widow go! (Photo courtesy of Tuscan aka Honey VooDoo)

Saying we were excited is an understatement.

There were lots of hugs and everyone was (and is) so proud of us! But now what? We had been so focused on passing laps (which required gaining strength, endurance, and even agility), but now what are we working toward? Oh yeah, playing derby!

Smack Widow and I will both be playing our very first bout, which is coming up quite soon!

If you don't know this already, you have some catching up to do!

We are technically bout-ready, but are we really bout-ready? I am already nervous! How can I cope with my anxiety if I am already feeling like this? My co-lap-passer, Widow, came to the rescue when she sent me this blog, which outlines everything a skater should do to prep for bout number one (and probably for future bouts too!).

 "First, take a deep breath."

Oh, this is good stuff! I hadn't thought of that! What else? *takes deep breath*

"Get your boutfit together – make sure you have the appropriate jersey and that your number is printed at least 4 inches tall – make sure you have the right bottoms, tights, socks – find these items early so you can have a couple dress rehearsal practices (it is very annoying to be pulling at your clothes during the bout)

Tell EVERYONE you know that you will be skating so they can clear their calendar"

These are just a few of the many things the blog tells us to do. Most of it is common sense to a skater and many of the things we have to do even just before a practice (hydrate, make sure you have all your gear, eat healthy, etc.). But I am certainly going to reference this blog often in the coming weeks.

So here I am getting my Map of Middle Earth pants ready, channeling my inner Suzy Hotrod, and telling of you, derby fans, to come support your Dire Skates, new and old. We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

Obsession...yep

I become obsessed with the things I enjoy doing. For example, I am a huge geek for renaissance festivals; I sew outfits, I have a podcast with two friends, I road trip to as many fests as possible, and I regularly wish I were at a ren fest instead of being in the "real world." That is just how I do things.

Me as a pirate hanging out with mud people. NBD.

But it's not just ren fests. I love putting time into things that make me happy. Derby has brought a wonderful new love to my life. I am obsessed.

I am also obsessed with the middle woman's high-waisted shorts.

I am constantly reading about roller derby--the history of, rules, rule changes, technique, and I regularly stalk and fall in love with new derby girls every day (OMG WTF is pretty amazing btw). I stay up late look at booty shorts, bearings, and outdoor wheels or watching of bouts, speed skating, or workouts for legs and butts. I travel to bouts around the area when I can so I can see other derby girls in action. GOREgon, Ab Fab Eddie, and I (along with Mr. Ab Fab and NSO Celeste) went to see Naptown play. I didn't know it was possible, but my obsession actually grew.

Dora the Destroyer destroys and still looks fabulous. Also, yay!

In fact, as a new skater, this obsession is kind of necessary (though it manifests itself in different ways in different skaters). You have to work to become strong, fast, and agile and there is so much to the culture of derby to learn about to keep one motivated. And contributing to your team beyond playing takes time. Find what you love and learn about it, be the best you can at it, throw yourself in, and just let yourself be obsessed. It's worth it and oh so fun.

A Way To Progress

(Editor's note: this is Klept-O's first contribution to our blog--welcome her!)

As a skater, you always wonder, “What can I do to make myself better?” First, don’t take extended breaks from skating. Don’t even take a week off. You would be surprised at how much it affects you. Trust me, I know from personal experience.

Seriously though, skate, a lot. Skate with your team, and skate with other teams. Find local teams who won’t mind the guest skaters, and go as often as you can. The Dire Skates are lucky. They have Gem City in Dayton, and A-Town in Anderson near by. While both are an hour drive or more, it is still well worth the drive to help better yourself as a skater.

Is there a scrimmage near by? Go. Grab as many of your team as you can and head there, asap. It goes back to the skating with others point, but it also brings more than JUST those near by people to you. Recently Em, Terahrizin, Dragon and myself (Klept-O) went to Cornfed Derby Dames scrimmage in Muncie. We met A-Towns GoldyBlox and Faye-Tality up there. It put some of us out of our element. It allowed us to do things we don’t normally do. It also allowed Dragon to put me on my butt once. (Be glad I love you, Wifey, or I would never admit that in writing.)

Watch derby, watch as much as you can. Take and bookmark Derby News Network, or subscribe to WFTDA’s youtube channel. Go to every bout that you can. See things that other people can do. That drill you didn’t understand before? Watching elite teams do it, without fail makes it click perfectly. You may not be able to do it as well, but at least you can go, “I know what it looks like, and I will do it myself.”

Finally, and this is something I fail at, cross train. Do some running, yoga, or maybe even some kick-boxing. Find whatever it is that will get that heart going, and do it. Keeping that endurance high will help in those long two minute jams. Especially when you have to do a few jams in a row.

There are probably many other things that can be done, but these are just a few things that come to mind. They also tend to be the more important things for a derby skater. Maybe that is just my opinion, though.

--- Klept-O-Matic