November Skater of the Month: Bilbo Stabbins

 The Dire Skates blog is typically written by Jessika or “Bilbo Stabbins". She takes care of the blog, takes votes and writes “Skater of the Month” posts, updates the FB page and a plethora of other things for the team. This month, however, Bilbo has been selected as the Skater of the Month and as her Sister, I have stepped in to write it for her. 

As Jessika’s “Big Sister” it is an absolute honor to write this entry about her. In roller derby, when a new skater comes on it is customary for that skater to be assigned a veteran skater to be her (or his) “big”. My job as Jessika’s big was to build a relationship with the new skater and answer any questions she may have, to spend time making sure she felt comfortable as a new addition and encourage her as she transitioned from new recruit, to team member. That relationship has evolved from a derby “assignment” to a real friendship. 

I first met Jessika in high school and became reacquainted with her in a Zumba class where she expressed interest in the upcoming Dire tryouts. Though apprehensive in the beginning, she has proved to be a strong, positive player who is willing to go the extra mile to be the best player and teammate she can be. Besides being a wife and mother of 2 wonderfully behaved and adorable boys, Jessika is a professor, a student pursuing a doctorate, and a blocker for the Dire Skates. She writes this blog and helps in pretty much every working group the team has....Aka: Derby Unicorn.  

Fellow skater Gina “RollHer Zombie” had this to say about Bilbo:

“What can I say, [Bilbo] is amazing. Her intelligence in life certainly comes through in her approach to the game. Although physically she is not where she maybe thinks she should be, I see her improve each time she hits the track. She truly does accept constructive criticism and pointers and she acts on them.”……”Our children are the same age and I truly enjoy our time both on and off the track. I am so glad she is part of my derby family.”

Dire Skates coach, “The Golf Father” has been coaching Bilbo for over a year now. He had this to say about her:

“Bilbo is a wonderful addition the the team both on and off the track. She has shown a lot of drive and is willing to learn and grow in the sport. Off the track she does a lot with the teams Facebook page and game day activities. I am looking forward to seeing where she might take herself in the game."

Fellow skater Emily KickNSum said:

"I love how she uses her talents to highlight the team in the blog. I also love how she is working hard on her PhD and still makes time for derby. She also pushes the team to learn more about derby by inviting people over to watch derby at her house."

Dire Skater, EnTruder says:

 "Bilbo Stabbins is one of the nicest and most giving players on the team. She is always    available to help out, and works hard during practice. One of the things I most admire about Bilbo is that she balances work, family, friends and is still so committed to derby that she finds extra time to skate the trail, workout in the gym etc. Thats dedication. Bilbo has a great sense of humor, and is possibly the person I see most often in my professional life. Usually it's kinda weird to see my derby sisters at work (because you want to hug, hip check, etc) but we laugh about it and move on"

Congrats, Bilbo and thank you for all that you do!

February Skater of the Month: The GOREgon

The GOREgon, aka Nat, blocks for the Dire Skates. Nat tried out in the late summer of 2013. She did not come during regular tryouts, but instead attended a practice and skated with the team because she wanted to see what things were all about after seeing Bilbo Stabbins and Ab Fab Eddie's excitement about the sport. Those first few practices were tough, but she kept coming back. Nat has gone from being an interested spectator to a true force on the team.

The GOREgon is new to the team, but that does not mean she hasn't taken up some derby duties. In fact, it is difficult to see how these things were getting done at all before she arrived. GOREgon has worked diligently on our headshots, group photos, and other pictures for the team. The new website is her domain as well (we know you can't see it, but we can and it looks great!). Nat has also been working hard with others to get us new jerseys, focusing both on the design and the logistics of ordering. In addition to team duties, The GOREgon works hard on herself; she is working hard mentally and physically to become the best player she can be and as my teammates and I can see, she has come so far!

In addition to the countless hours The GOREgon spends on derby, she works, reads all the books, and crafts all the things (in fact she even crafts derby things, making necklaces, shorts, and skirts for her derby sisters!).

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about The GOREgon: 

"Nat, "The GOREgon" is probably one of the most improved from when she first put on skates at that 1st practice. Her endurance is extremely improved and she continues the hard work both on and off the track. She is a great asset to the team and I am glad that she is with the Dire Skates."

And Terahrizin added this:

"I would say Nat is one of the most improved new skaters we have. The first time I met Nat she spent a fair amount of practice time laying on the floor complaining and in pain. The next few times were the same. Eventually (pretty quickly actually) she spend more time on her feet and talking about what she could do to get better. That is what derby is all about. Few of us are natural athletes. Falling down is ok, crying is ok, puking is ok……quitting is not.

Not only is Nat getting better and better on her skates, but she is also a major contributor to behind the scenes stuff for the team. Helping with pictures, working on the website, sewing shorts and skirts for teammates, working out extra and motivating everyone."

Thanks for all you do, GOREgon!

Diary of a New Recruit: Passing Laps and Getting Bout-Ready

As we have previously written about, going from being a new recruit to a full member of the team is complicated. The place where all of us new recruits have been "stuck" for a while is laps. This is one of the WFTDA minimum requirements--it requires all skaters to be able to skate 27 laps in five minutes on order to be able to play. Recently Jenocide passed her laps and in this past week Smack Widow and I, Bilbo Stabbins, also passed our laps, which means we are technically bout-ready!

Bilbo Stabbins passes laps and immediately needs a nap and afternoon tea.

Look at Smack Widow go! (Photo courtesy of Tuscan aka Honey VooDoo)

Saying we were excited is an understatement.

There were lots of hugs and everyone was (and is) so proud of us! But now what? We had been so focused on passing laps (which required gaining strength, endurance, and even agility), but now what are we working toward? Oh yeah, playing derby!

Smack Widow and I will both be playing our very first bout, which is coming up quite soon!

If you don't know this already, you have some catching up to do!

We are technically bout-ready, but are we really bout-ready? I am already nervous! How can I cope with my anxiety if I am already feeling like this? My co-lap-passer, Widow, came to the rescue when she sent me this blog, which outlines everything a skater should do to prep for bout number one (and probably for future bouts too!).

 "First, take a deep breath."

Oh, this is good stuff! I hadn't thought of that! What else? *takes deep breath*

"Get your boutfit together – make sure you have the appropriate jersey and that your number is printed at least 4 inches tall – make sure you have the right bottoms, tights, socks – find these items early so you can have a couple dress rehearsal practices (it is very annoying to be pulling at your clothes during the bout)

Tell EVERYONE you know that you will be skating so they can clear their calendar"

These are just a few of the many things the blog tells us to do. Most of it is common sense to a skater and many of the things we have to do even just before a practice (hydrate, make sure you have all your gear, eat healthy, etc.). But I am certainly going to reference this blog often in the coming weeks.

So here I am getting my Map of Middle Earth pants ready, channeling my inner Suzy Hotrod, and telling of you, derby fans, to come support your Dire Skates, new and old. We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

Spotlight: Bilbo Stabbins

Name: Bilbo Stabbins

Number: 42 (The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything!)

Position: blocker

Tell us about your non-derby self: I am a married mother of two. I am an English professor. I enjoy renaissance festivals, zombies, reading, crafts, and naps.

Were you a fan of the Dire Skates before joining?: YES! I loved coming to the games and one day I just said “I have to do this.”

Why did you join roller derby?: I wanted to be a part of something that seemed really fun. Derby is accepting of all types of women and it empowers them to be the best version of themselves. We need more of that in the world.

What is your favorite part of roller derby?: It’s great exercise, the other women are amazing and inspiring, and it’s really just fun to skate around and knock over people.

What are your roller derby goals?: I hope to become stronger and more agile so I can be a good asset to the team. I also hope I can become a better player who inspires others to come play derby!

What do you hope Dire Skates can do for Richmond?: I hope the Dire Skates can inspire young women and young people to get active physically, to get proactive about achieving his or her personal goals (even if they are not derby-related), and to get active in the community.

What are you skating on right now?: I am on Riedell Rogues, with Atom Poison Wheels (for Townsend) or Fugitives (for The Skate) and Reds bearings.

If you could skate anywhere, anytime, where and when would it be and why?: Most of the places I would like to visit don’t have the terrain to allow for skating, but it would be pretty fun to skate around in The Colosseum or around the halls of the White House. Ooh, wait, the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, Buckingham Palace…I am indecisive. Everywhere. That’s my answer.

If you could have any famous person alive or dead join Dire Skates, who would it be and why?: Amanda Palmer, Melissa McCarthy, Pink, Tina Fey…basically any fun and/or smart woman, including some friends who I hope join in the future. I want to sweat all over my favorite women.

Tell us one thing you want us to know about yourself: I like to dance, but only in kitchens.

Tell us one thing about another skater: Terahrizin is an amazing motivator especially when she is singing Olivia Newton-John, DJ Smear-O has knives for bones, and Dragon Balllzy is so hot, but it’s a trick! She is strong and fast and will knock you over, cracking your tailbone, and leaving you in the dust. Brutal.

Derby Fashion: Socks

One of the first things one notices about derby is the clothing. There is a certain derby fashion sense that, in addition to the protective gear, usually involves some combination of socks, booty shorts, and glitter (and sometimes tutus). We each choose our clothing based on comfort, visual appeal, and, of course, the coolness factor.

I mean, could I be any cooler?!

Socks are a way for us as derby girls to both have fun and to express some part of our persona. Or maybe we just wear what we have clean at that moment. The world "clean" is probably even subjective.

Before I even tried out for the team, I went out and bout 10 new pairs of socks and as many tights and fishnets as I could find, because derby.

There are not enough pictures of cats in sock piles on the internet--get on that, guys!

But really, socks serve a purpose beyond the aesthetic ones listed above. As this blogger mentions, socks serve to protect the skater and to maintain a level of comfort.

We fall quite a bit and we usually skate on cement or a finished wooden floor. Sliding on either of these floors doesn't feel great no matter what, but this thin layer of tights and socks does protect us from burns that can occur (a quick search for roller derby bruises and you'll see they can be brutal...and yeah, socks won't do much to protect us in that regard).

Every girl has different sock standards. I wear tights, knee highs, and sport socks because that added padding helps me feel comfortable in my skates. Some girls just wear one pair of socks. And some girls, it smells like, have never heard of socks.

Socks, no matter why, or how they are worn, are an important part of derby. And an important part of awesome cat pictures.

Important.

New Recruits

Just last month Dire Skates officially voted on six new members (AB Fab Eddie, Bilbo Stabbins, Smack Widow, GOREgon, Jenocide, and a yet to be named teammate (who clearly needs to read this) though we had all been skating with the team for months. We all came in at different times, with different levels of ability and are still quite varied on our skating ability and gameplay, but here we are. Let me say this:

Joining roller derby can be complicated.

This is not to dissuade you from trying out!

Sean Bean wants you to try out. Will I be using Sean Bean often? The answer is yes. Emphatically, yes!

Every team has a different process for joining the respective team and sometimes actually JOINING is confusing. I am speaking only about my experience with Dire Skates, though you'll find that experiences with other teams are quite similar in this regard.

When you first tryout, you are called a "new recruit" (newbie) or "fresh meat," depending on the team--there are probably other terms, but these are the terms used here.

Be warned: searching Google images for "fresh meat" is less than appetizing.

There are certainly some negative connotations associated with the latter term, but it is a phrase commonly used in derby culture. And, honestly, after a good practice I definitely feel like a giant slab of meat that has been hung up and punched repeatedly. In a good way.

Being a new recruit means there is a sort of probationary period where you are invited to be on the team, but are not technically on the team.

During this time, the new recruits train and practice with the team. Some teams have a short training period or workshops with trainers from that derby team and then hold tryouts after (Naptown and Circle City do this--this seems to be a difference primarily between larger cities/teams vs. smaller cities/teams). Either way, there is time when you are sort of on the team and sort of not, or when you sort of play derby, but not exactly. Try explaining that quickly to someone.

Or you just receive blank stares.

Once the player has reached a certain physical level or has shown certain dedication to the team, and typically once they have passed all minimum skills requirements, (that list is seven pages long in case you didn't look. SEVEN. MINIMUM! GAH!) they are voted onto the team. One of those minimum skills is that we can do 27 laps in 5 minutes, by the way (this used to be 25), which feels insane.

Actually it feels something like this. Is that why Terahrizin wears cheetah print?!

At this point, once you are voted on, you are on the team and no longer a new recruit, though you may have been practicing with your new teammates for months prior. In this way, it is nice because you are all friends, sisters, and, now, teammates.

Not only is the phrase "new recruit" somewhat confusing, but shifting from this sort of complicating category of almost-derbyness (that's a real word, right?!) to an actual member of the team requires a great deal of work: sweat, tears, vomit, bruises, aches, pains, blood, and more sweat. You can celebrate this awesome feat by taking a nap, singing loudly despite protests from your derby sisters, or making someone rub your feet or whatever celebratory action you so choose.

So be sure to welcome all of us "new recruits" as we are newly shifting into our roles as teammates and be sure to look for the "Spotlight" features where you will be introduced to all of newbies.

--Bilbo Stabbins

"Name thyself!": Choosing a Derby Name

Roller Derby names are fun. Consider names such as Suzy Hotrod and Bonnie Thunder from Gotham or Maiden America and Dora the Destroyer from one of our Hoosier teams Naptown. These names are fun, pun-filled, sexy, strong, violent, or sometimes obscene. They can be almost anything a skater wants them to be, but finding the right name can take some time.

A week in and I've used roller derby otter twice--get over it!

If you are thinking of joining roller derby, one of the first things you often do is start thinking of a name (which is fine, though I suggest you also start a workout regimen!), but know that there are some rules. Don't pick a name already taken by another skater. Here is the master list of names--be warned: it's a crazy long list! Here is a handy guide to take you through some of the other guidelines. 

But more importantly, you must choose a name you like. This can be many different things. You might like the sound of it, it might sound like your current name (Terahrizin or Jenocide), it might reflect your day job (DJ Smear-O djs, classdisnissed teaches, BadAZZ Mothercutter cuts hair and is a bada**) or it might reflect just how geeky you are (Dragon Ballzy and myself, Bilbo Stabbins). Others reflect interests or are just fun!

And sometimes they simply make no sense.

No matter what your derby name, don't rush the process and make sure YOU like the name you choose. You are basically naming (and creating) your alter ego so get creative and have fun!

Are you considering playing or reffing for derby? If so, what names are you considering?
Let us know!

--Bilbo Stabbins