So you wanna derby...

Have you thought about joining derby?

(If you've ever been to a bout, then answer is very likely a resounding "YES!").

Well, we are holding tryouts on June 22nd and 29th and we would love to have you join us!

Here are a few things you should know about our tryouts and joining derby in general. 

1. It's okay if you can barely skate (or cannot skate at all). We will train you. Even if you cannot roll around the track without falling a billion times, you can join if you want it bad enough. You will have a tougher time in the beginning, but derby is all about working hard to get what you want.

2. You should be exercising. Now. I should be exercising instead of writing this blog. We make a lot of what we do on the track look pretty easy, but unless you are getting some cardio in or going to Zumba or lifting weights (or all of the above!), you are probably not going to be fully prepared for the level of physical activity required for derby. It's nice out. Go for a walk, do some squats (they are your friend), and strengthen that core! You need a strong butt to hit people with so get to work! Additionally, The Skate has summer hours so if you'd like to get time in on wheels, do it!

3. You will have fun. We are hilarious and stinky and hilarious. We will make sure you feel comfortable during tryouts and afterward, but please come with a good attitude, come ready to learn, and come ready to make friends!

4. Wear comfy clothes. It is hot in The Skate (the word "Mordor" is spoken at least thirty times during each summer practice), but you also need to be able to move around and fall in your clothes.

5. We will provide skates and gear for your tryouts ONLY. Bring your own mouth guard (I will gladly share my stinky knee pads with you for tryouts, but I barely know you so sharing a mouth guard is really pushing it. $2 at Walmart will do for now. Skaters and The Skate staff can help you order gear and skates that will work well for you and within your budget.

6. You will smell awful because you will be sweaty and because you will be borrowing a stinky vet's gear. Derby stank is real.

7. You will fall. And you will get up. And you will fall again. We will teach you to fall correctly before we teach you to do much else. Safety first. 

8. You should be watching roller derby. Come to our bout on May 10th if you can! But there are so many bouts streamed online through DNN, there is a wealth of derby (women's and men's!) within about an hour of here. One blog provides .gifs of cool plays, interesting footwork, or to illustrate specific rules. It helps! And it's fun!

8. Did I mention that it will be fun?! I am serious. Everyone is so nice and we genuinely want you to join us on the track and in this whole crazy thing we call derby. 

There are other things you can do like start thinking of your derby name or stock up on cool socks and tights, but ultimately, come prepared and make sure you feel comfortable.

If you want more info, message us on Facebook, email us at thedireskates@gmail.com, or talk to your favorite roller girl.
We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

February Skater of the Month: The GOREgon

The GOREgon, aka Nat, blocks for the Dire Skates. Nat tried out in the late summer of 2013. She did not come during regular tryouts, but instead attended a practice and skated with the team because she wanted to see what things were all about after seeing Bilbo Stabbins and Ab Fab Eddie's excitement about the sport. Those first few practices were tough, but she kept coming back. Nat has gone from being an interested spectator to a true force on the team.

The GOREgon is new to the team, but that does not mean she hasn't taken up some derby duties. In fact, it is difficult to see how these things were getting done at all before she arrived. GOREgon has worked diligently on our headshots, group photos, and other pictures for the team. The new website is her domain as well (we know you can't see it, but we can and it looks great!). Nat has also been working hard with others to get us new jerseys, focusing both on the design and the logistics of ordering. In addition to team duties, The GOREgon works hard on herself; she is working hard mentally and physically to become the best player she can be and as my teammates and I can see, she has come so far!

In addition to the countless hours The GOREgon spends on derby, she works, reads all the books, and crafts all the things (in fact she even crafts derby things, making necklaces, shorts, and skirts for her derby sisters!).

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about The GOREgon: 

"Nat, "The GOREgon" is probably one of the most improved from when she first put on skates at that 1st practice. Her endurance is extremely improved and she continues the hard work both on and off the track. She is a great asset to the team and I am glad that she is with the Dire Skates."

And Terahrizin added this:

"I would say Nat is one of the most improved new skaters we have. The first time I met Nat she spent a fair amount of practice time laying on the floor complaining and in pain. The next few times were the same. Eventually (pretty quickly actually) she spend more time on her feet and talking about what she could do to get better. That is what derby is all about. Few of us are natural athletes. Falling down is ok, crying is ok, puking is ok……quitting is not.

Not only is Nat getting better and better on her skates, but she is also a major contributor to behind the scenes stuff for the team. Helping with pictures, working on the website, sewing shorts and skirts for teammates, working out extra and motivating everyone."

Thanks for all you do, GOREgon!

Spotlight: Bilbo Stabbins

Name: Bilbo Stabbins

Number: 42 (The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything!)

Position: blocker

Tell us about your non-derby self: I am a married mother of two. I am an English professor. I enjoy renaissance festivals, zombies, reading, crafts, and naps.

Were you a fan of the Dire Skates before joining?: YES! I loved coming to the games and one day I just said “I have to do this.”

Why did you join roller derby?: I wanted to be a part of something that seemed really fun. Derby is accepting of all types of women and it empowers them to be the best version of themselves. We need more of that in the world.

What is your favorite part of roller derby?: It’s great exercise, the other women are amazing and inspiring, and it’s really just fun to skate around and knock over people.

What are your roller derby goals?: I hope to become stronger and more agile so I can be a good asset to the team. I also hope I can become a better player who inspires others to come play derby!

What do you hope Dire Skates can do for Richmond?: I hope the Dire Skates can inspire young women and young people to get active physically, to get proactive about achieving his or her personal goals (even if they are not derby-related), and to get active in the community.

What are you skating on right now?: I am on Riedell Rogues, with Atom Poison Wheels (for Townsend) or Fugitives (for The Skate) and Reds bearings.

If you could skate anywhere, anytime, where and when would it be and why?: Most of the places I would like to visit don’t have the terrain to allow for skating, but it would be pretty fun to skate around in The Colosseum or around the halls of the White House. Ooh, wait, the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, Buckingham Palace…I am indecisive. Everywhere. That’s my answer.

If you could have any famous person alive or dead join Dire Skates, who would it be and why?: Amanda Palmer, Melissa McCarthy, Pink, Tina Fey…basically any fun and/or smart woman, including some friends who I hope join in the future. I want to sweat all over my favorite women.

Tell us one thing you want us to know about yourself: I like to dance, but only in kitchens.

Tell us one thing about another skater: Terahrizin is an amazing motivator especially when she is singing Olivia Newton-John, DJ Smear-O has knives for bones, and Dragon Balllzy is so hot, but it’s a trick! She is strong and fast and will knock you over, cracking your tailbone, and leaving you in the dust. Brutal.

January Skater of the Month: enTRUdir

Editor's note: This is a new feature! We'd like to honor a Dire Skates member each month in order to show all the behind the scenes and on the track effort the players put in. As we have previously written about, derby takes a lot of effort and a lot of DIY and sometimes the unicorns are actually members of the team. Look for a new "Skater of the Month" early each month!

enTRUdir, aka Trudi, blocks for the Dire Skates. Trudi tried out for the Dire Skates in January 31, 2010 (which was only the third meeting/practice for the team in the first round of tryouts for the team ever) after watching Naptown play the night prior in a bout called "Scar Wars." She is now our fearless leader, the glue that holds us together

enTRUdir is the official convener for the team, meaning she coordinates meetings and votes and makes sure we all do our jobs. She is basically a goddess. (Have you tried wrangling 20+ women into doing something? Not easy.) She has also been a fabulous mentor to us new skaters, constantly talking with us on the track and off during practice to help us grow as skaters. Trudi is level-headed, and serves as a great mediator. She records videos to recap our meetings to make sure we all know what is happening (because notes...who reads things? Wait...). And she reminds us that we can't cuss or be vulgar around the junior skaters...as much as we hate that, we know she is right. You know what, Trudi does so much that I don't even know what else she contributes (coordinating, logos, merch decisions...she's involved in all of it). enTRUdir is an invaluable member of the team and for that, we love her.

In addition to this, she works full time and is the mother to junior skater PUKE Skywalker who, I must say, has some big shoes to fill.

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about enTRUdir:

"Trudi…..what can I say about Trudi….she is one of the most thoughtful hard working people for the team. A lot of what she does in the background and doesn’t get seen directly, but you definitely see it indirectly. She is a quiet leader and is always willing to get out of her of her comfort zone on the track. She is always willing to help others. She doesn’t look to be in the limelight, she doesn’t want it. I am glad that I can say that I coach her, but even more, I call her a friend."

And Emily KickNsuM added this:

"Trudi is one of the older members and on the team and I don’t mean age, I mean the length of time she has spent with the team. Trudi has always pushed the team to hold to higher values and be a positive influence in our community. Her values off the track are very much the same on the track. Though she might not be the fastest skater on the team or have the hardest hit, Trudi is a solid blocker for the Dire Skates. More importantly she uses team work, knowledge, and communication on the track to get even more accomplished than big hits. I have several special memories of Trudi--one of which includes that we both went to the first Dire Skates tryouts and tried out together. To sum up the memory, she has come a long way from a girl in blue jeans with brown clown rental skates on."

Thank you for all you do, enTRudir.

Derby love.

2014 Schedule!

We have (mostly) finalized our 2014 schedule. We hope to see you there!

Home Bout Dates:
Feb 15th Kuhlman Center vs. Bone City Rollers
May 10th Kuhlman Center vs. Battle Creek Cereal Killers and
July 19th Kuhlman Center Team vs. Lafayette Brawlin' Dolls
November date and team TBA



Away Bout Dates:
March 22nd @ Gem City Rollergirls
April 12th @ Ohio Valley Rollergirls
May (date TBA) @ Naptown Third Alarm (scrimmage)
September 6th @ Bone City Rollers 

P.S. I LOATHE YOU

Our first bout of 2014 is fast approaching!

Awesome flyer courtesy of GOREgon

We will be bouting for a new local non-profit organization, Richmond Shakespeare Festival! As posted on their Facebook page:

The mission of the Richmond Shakespeare Festival organization is to produce and promote an annual Shakespeare festival of the highest quality, including theatrical performances and educational opportunities, based in Richmond, Indiana.

We look forward to helping bring the arts to Richmond and we hope you'll be a part of the event.

Also courtesy of GOREgon (though it's a variation on this)

Obsession...yep

I become obsessed with the things I enjoy doing. For example, I am a huge geek for renaissance festivals; I sew outfits, I have a podcast with two friends, I road trip to as many fests as possible, and I regularly wish I were at a ren fest instead of being in the "real world." That is just how I do things.

Me as a pirate hanging out with mud people. NBD.

But it's not just ren fests. I love putting time into things that make me happy. Derby has brought a wonderful new love to my life. I am obsessed.

I am also obsessed with the middle woman's high-waisted shorts.

I am constantly reading about roller derby--the history of, rules, rule changes, technique, and I regularly stalk and fall in love with new derby girls every day (OMG WTF is pretty amazing btw). I stay up late look at booty shorts, bearings, and outdoor wheels or watching of bouts, speed skating, or workouts for legs and butts. I travel to bouts around the area when I can so I can see other derby girls in action. GOREgon, Ab Fab Eddie, and I (along with Mr. Ab Fab and NSO Celeste) went to see Naptown play. I didn't know it was possible, but my obsession actually grew.

Dora the Destroyer destroys and still looks fabulous. Also, yay!

In fact, as a new skater, this obsession is kind of necessary (though it manifests itself in different ways in different skaters). You have to work to become strong, fast, and agile and there is so much to the culture of derby to learn about to keep one motivated. And contributing to your team beyond playing takes time. Find what you love and learn about it, be the best you can at it, throw yourself in, and just let yourself be obsessed. It's worth it and oh so fun.

Happy Holidays from us!

We have been taking a break from practices to celebrate with our non-derby families, but we did make time for a Dire Skates holiday party. Good times. Happy Holidays from your Dire Skates!

Did you know unicorns are real?

Something really great about any derby team is that it is run by the derby team. Makes sense, right? But wait.

I have a question for you: have you ever wanted to be a unicorn? Okay. Hang on.

This will make sense eventually. I hope.

Anyway, derby teams do everything: raise funds for the team, make fliers, set up the event before bouts (metal folding chairs!), marketing...all while still making time to practice to actually PLAY derby. Did I mention that us derby girls pay to play? We make nothing from this and, in fact, have to pay for equipment and practice space, but we do it because we love it.

Julia Sleazer (a person I do not know, but who seems great!) puts all of this eloquently in her blog It's Late and I'm Tired. 

But I will attempt to explain the idea somewhat here:

I should clarify my earlier point. It's not just the derby team that does it all: unicorns are the mystical beasts who make derby happen. Our players, fans, former players, supporters, family, and friends all play a part. We couldn't do it without you, unicorns!

Joe Mama--long time Dire Skates supporter and cheese expert

For those of you already doing your part, THANK YOU!

If you feel compelled to become a unicorn, contact us or chat with us at our next bout (December 8th!) and find out how you can help support local derby.

Much love,

Bilbo Stabbins

Junior Derby

Roller derby is great because anyone who WANTS to play CAN play. You can be taught to skate well and the strategy involved in gameplay can be picked up as you go. The only restriction is that a potential skater must be overage, but NO MORE! Come hang out with us, ladies ages 11-17. We are excited to meet young women interested in derby! Come learn about derby (of course), but also come to reap the benefits of derby: exercise, community, fun, and more!

Ignore that date, come join us any Sunday this Novemeber 4-5pm at The Skate in Richmond. Still not sure? Feel free to come watch our practice during that time and see what you think.

I hope to see you out there!

--Bilbo Stabbins