April Skater of the Month: Maniac Jack

Maniac Jack has been with the Dire Skates since the beginning! A blocker, and jammer, Maniac is a powerful force on the track.

I mean, have you seen her skate?

And those shoulders?!

Maniac skates hard and hits harder, not only using herself to hit our opponents, but even throwing her teammates at the other players. No one forgets the first time they get hit by Maniac Jack.

Maniac easily gets her head into the game and works to ensure her teammates are focused alongside her. Though she is also well-known for stacking up penalties--the "jack in the box" is a common sight at our games. Even then she still has a smile on her face!

Maniac is a powerful asset to our team, not only because of her abilities, but because she is an amazing derby sister. She even tried to retire after last season, but we would not let her because we just love her too much!


Coach, The GolfFather, had this to say about Maniac:

What an amazing person Maniac Jack is. She is hard working, busy mom of two very active and athletic kids. Jack is very athletic herself and a very good skater. She has played anywhere we have put her on the track. Blocker, no problem, Pivot, sure, Jammer, "are you sure?", “Yes, Jack, go jam and score some points.” She is most famous probably for Hurtz McGroin’s saying “Jack in the Box” everytime she gets a penalty. Wonder if they would sponsor our penalty box?
She almost retired after last season and I am glad we had all those fans in supporting the “one more year.” I am glad that she is back for 2015 and hopefully beyond. What do you say, Jack?
I have known jack for about 4.5 years now and I am honored to coach a great player, teammate, mom, person, but most of all a great friend!

DJ SMear-O added this:

I love Maniac's glorious powerful ass. It knocks everyone around. It clears holes for me on the track. It looks perfect and round and strong in her shorts. I catch myself in a Maniac Jack booty trance. She may not like her fabulous bottom, but that beautiful badass babe has been busting her bodacious buns for me and everyone else on this team since we became a team. She is a bounty of butt and a force to be reckoned with. I love Maniac Jack. Skating with her has and always will be a pleasure.

RollHer Zombie had this to say about her derby sister:

Maniac Jack, 765, homegrown crazy. I remember drinking wine in her kitchen many moons ago and trying to come up with her tag line. That is just one of many great times we have shared since the very start of the team. Besides my other wife, CA is probably who I have played derby with the most since the team started. I am lucky to not only call her my sister, but one of my dearest, closest friends, who has been there for me through my darkest moments. Manic and I both can say derby saved our souls; Not only for the physical outlet and chance to break down barriers that society puts females in, but the true friendship and love that comes from such an amazing dynamic of women. Some people are reluctant to get to know her, because I think they are intimidated by those big shoulders, lethal hips, and sometimes big mouth. ;) I know under that awesomely brutal persona and seemingly effortless derby ability, she is quite simply amazing. I know she has thought of retirement, but honestly I can't imagine our team without her and I am not looking forward to that day. Mad love for you Maniac.
<3 RollHer Zombie

Maniac Jack photo gallery:

Thanks for all you do, Maniac!

March Skater of the Month: Emily KickNsuM

Emily is a Dire Skates Original; she joined when the team started five years ago! She has been blocking and jamming for the Dire Skates since the beginning. Emily is a naturally good skater and is, as anyone who has watched her knows, wonderful to watch on the track.

Emily's team job is bout-coordinator, meaning she coordinates getting everything planned, reserved, and prepared for bout day. Emily is also a trainer (alongside her derby wife RollHer Zombie), meaning she helps to teach new skaters skating and derby basics, but also helps the other vets hone their skills.

Emily welcomes dedicated players with open arms, helping them learn, but also showing them what to strive for. In addition to her derby skills, Emily is a joy to be around.

Our coach, The GolfFather, had this to say:

"Emily KickNsum grew up a rink rat and put her work as a skater into that of a derby girl. She has a very demanding job as an ER nurse and I think relieves and lets go of all that on the derby track. Emily is a triple threat on the track. She is a great jammer even though she doesn’t like to. She is a ultimate blocker that can keep girls contained for a long time and as a pivot is a big leader on the track. Emily has done a lot off the track as well behind the scenes. She has done fundraising events, handled getting NSO’s, getting everything set with the different venues that we have used for games. She has been a leader on and off the track and has scaled back her responsibilities from the past few years but that doesn’t mean she is any less important to this team. I am glad that I can coach her and more importantly call her a great friend."

Fellow skater, DJ SMear-O, said this:

"She's been dedicated to this team since it's inception. She's part of coaching and training and teaches us all so much. She encourages and inspires and smells awful. She helps put bouts together. She's always got a silly attitude. Stupid, ugly, happy holiday sweaters...she's known for those. She's fun. She's kickass and one of our founding sisters. She's got more skating ability in her pinky toe than I could ever dream to have. And "hot" doesn't begin to cover it. She's amazeballs. And I'm glad she's my sister from another mister...and missus :)"

Emily's little derby sister, Terahrizen, had this to say:

"When I tried out for the team I remember looking around at all the vets and wondering which one would be my "Big". Emily walked in late and I think it was really nice to see her in street clothes because it made her "real". The other girls were all geared up and going drills and that was both amazing and terrifying. Emily talked to me very briefly and it was very calming to be approached by Emily Talbot rather than Emily KickNsum. When I got the call that she actually would be my Big, I was very happy. I learned that she was practically born with skates on her feet and was one of Dire's best players. I had to step it up and make my sister proud!

Emily is very dedicated to the sport and her team mates despite what may be going on in her life outside of derby. I respect that about her. I appreciate the quiet encouragement and the over all support she has given me. The first time I ever went to the gym, Emily invited me to go to some insanely difficult class, it was probably called something like "do burpees and core work until you die." I didn't realize it at the time, but I really needed the gym to improve my game. I am absolutely proud to call her my sister and watching her skate is definitely one of my favorite things. Skating along side her is even better. If I'm jamming, I know she's got my back and I'm not worried how big the other team is or how good they are. I also love her attitude about games, she constantly says "I'm having fun. Lets just worry about having fun and staying together!" I think a lot of new skaters look up to her, while we can't all be born on skates the way Emily was, we all admire her drive and natural ability. She has been really tough on me as her little, and I have a long way to go, but I wouldn't be where I am today without her!"

Emily's derby wife, RollHer Zombie had this to say:

"My beautiful wife, man where do I even start. A heart as big as the hits she doles out on the track. Equal parts beauty and Braun. I absolutely love watching her skate and play the game, almost as much as I love sharing the track with her. Emily being so much younger than me, I use her to gauge my own performance, she definitely keeps me on my toes and pushing.  She is a bulldog on wheels and I have nothing but respect and love for her, quit isn't in her vocabulary.  We have both grown up skating and we love it.  Derby gives us that outlet to bring it to that next level. I look forward to many more years on the track with her by my side.  Love your face off Em!
<3 RollHer Zombie"

 Emily KickNsum photo gallery:

Thanks for all you do, Em!

November Skater of the Month: Bilbo Stabbins

 The Dire Skates blog is typically written by Jessika or “Bilbo Stabbins". She takes care of the blog, takes votes and writes “Skater of the Month” posts, updates the FB page and a plethora of other things for the team. This month, however, Bilbo has been selected as the Skater of the Month and as her Sister, I have stepped in to write it for her. 

As Jessika’s “Big Sister” it is an absolute honor to write this entry about her. In roller derby, when a new skater comes on it is customary for that skater to be assigned a veteran skater to be her (or his) “big”. My job as Jessika’s big was to build a relationship with the new skater and answer any questions she may have, to spend time making sure she felt comfortable as a new addition and encourage her as she transitioned from new recruit, to team member. That relationship has evolved from a derby “assignment” to a real friendship. 

I first met Jessika in high school and became reacquainted with her in a Zumba class where she expressed interest in the upcoming Dire tryouts. Though apprehensive in the beginning, she has proved to be a strong, positive player who is willing to go the extra mile to be the best player and teammate she can be. Besides being a wife and mother of 2 wonderfully behaved and adorable boys, Jessika is a professor, a student pursuing a doctorate, and a blocker for the Dire Skates. She writes this blog and helps in pretty much every working group the team has....Aka: Derby Unicorn.  

Fellow skater Gina “RollHer Zombie” had this to say about Bilbo:

“What can I say, [Bilbo] is amazing. Her intelligence in life certainly comes through in her approach to the game. Although physically she is not where she maybe thinks she should be, I see her improve each time she hits the track. She truly does accept constructive criticism and pointers and she acts on them.”……”Our children are the same age and I truly enjoy our time both on and off the track. I am so glad she is part of my derby family.”

Dire Skates coach, “The Golf Father” has been coaching Bilbo for over a year now. He had this to say about her:

“Bilbo is a wonderful addition the the team both on and off the track. She has shown a lot of drive and is willing to learn and grow in the sport. Off the track she does a lot with the teams Facebook page and game day activities. I am looking forward to seeing where she might take herself in the game."

Fellow skater Emily KickNSum said:

"I love how she uses her talents to highlight the team in the blog. I also love how she is working hard on her PhD and still makes time for derby. She also pushes the team to learn more about derby by inviting people over to watch derby at her house."

Dire Skater, EnTruder says:

 "Bilbo Stabbins is one of the nicest and most giving players on the team. She is always    available to help out, and works hard during practice. One of the things I most admire about Bilbo is that she balances work, family, friends and is still so committed to derby that she finds extra time to skate the trail, workout in the gym etc. Thats dedication. Bilbo has a great sense of humor, and is possibly the person I see most often in my professional life. Usually it's kinda weird to see my derby sisters at work (because you want to hug, hip check, etc) but we laugh about it and move on"

Congrats, Bilbo and thank you for all that you do!

October Skater of the Month: RollHer Zombie

Gina, or as she is known to us, RollHer Zombie, is both a blocker and jammer for the Dire Skates.  Gina is one of the founding members of the team and her dedication has held strong over the years. Her dedication is most evident in her ability to motivate her teammates to push themselves to do their very best.

On the track Zombie is a powerful and valuable player, a crowd favorite. Off the track, Gina is in charge of our finances, which means she keeps track of money spent for bouts, our skater dues, taxes, merchandise, and our donations to local charities and organizations. In addition to this, she is a trainer, which means she works hard to whip us into shape, leading workout sessions outside of practice, off-skates practices, and often leading or joining in on trail skates.

Additionally, Gina can always be counted on to listen and support her derby sisters. Gina is a considerate friend and teammate who often puts others and her team before herself.



Assistant Coach, Mr. BadAZZ had this to say:

Zombie is a big part of Dire Skates. She is a trainer, handles financing, and is a lot of help with the team merchandise. She also gives me a helping hand when Coach can't make to practice. She helps me by running drills and conditioning for the team. She hits hard and skates fast. Thanks for all you do, Gina.

Goregon says of RollHer Zombie:

Gina is a natural leader who gets results when leading the team in drills, exercise, and on the track. She's also a tireless worker, balancing the books and monitoring our team accounts. It doesn't hurt that she's got an amazing personality.

DJ Smear-O had this to say:

Gina has been totally dedicated to this team since its inception. I look up to her in mad ways. She's awesome on wheels and a rocking chick with a tender heart. She's a sister and friend to me as well as a tough as nails trainer who whips my saggy, floppy ass into shape

Emily KickNsuM added this mushy bit about her derby wife:

Gina has always been one of my biggest rivals on the track, even though we are on the same team. The Dire Skates used to host scrimmages against each other and we were always on opposite teams and it felt like jammed against each other over and over. Even though pinned against each other some how we fell in love, or I did anyway. That’s how I found what we call a derby wife. She is that person on the team that pushes me harder at practice; we see eye to eye on most team decisions, but most importantly she has became someone I can call for anything. It's something I love about derby because I found a great friend that I believe will be a friend beyond derby careers and crazy life changes, someone that I don’t think I would have ever became friends with if not for roller derby. "Roller Derby saved my soul," is a quote used often… but its not just roller derby the sport that saved my soul its skaters on the team like RollHer Zombie that saved my soul.

 Thank you for all you do, Gina!