Away Games: Gem City and Mortal Kombout

In less than two weeks your Dire Skates will be hitting the road to bout in St. Clairsville, Ohio against Ohio Valley Roller Girls!

But seriously, look at this flyer! It is full of WIN!

FINISH HER!

This will be our first overnight bout in awhile and we can't to spread the Dire Skates love across the nation! Or at least Ohio.

You can see more info on the event page.

Last weekend we played Gem City in Dayton and though they took the win, we played hard. Your Dire Skates is a growing team and we are getting stronger each game! Thanks to the Dire fans who made it over to Dayton to cheer us on!

Yeah, we know we are awesome.

After all of this traveling we will see you all at home in May during our special Mother's Day event on May 10th! More details to come--stay tuned!

--Bilbo Stabbins

March Skater of the Month: BadAZZ Mother Cutter

Kellye, aka BadAZZ Mother Cutter, has been blocking with the team for over three years. Kellye also has a skating background and a history of jamming and speedskating. In addition to skating, her team job is "Goodwill and Communication," which means she does a lot! She texts us all and keeps us up to date on things, she works to mediate problems between skaters, talks with skaters who are having troubles in life (derby-related or otherwise), and has been very welcoming of all the new skaters to the team. BadAZZ also makes goody bags for the other teams and makes the MVP trophies. A lot of Kellye's work is behind the scenes or one-on-one with other skaters. Because of this, her hard work often goes unnoticed.

Kellye is only 1/4 of the BadAZZ derby team, though: Mr. BadAZZ is assistant coach and she has Baby BadAZZ and BadAZZ Brat on The Skate Aways.

In addition to derby, BadAZZ does hair and....well, she mostly does derby stuff.


Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about BadAZZ:

"Kellye or Bad Azz has become a great asset to the team. She has worked hard on her skates and getting better day by day. She has become a quiet leader on the track. She has taken on roles off skates that makes the team operation run smoother than they otherwise would. I am glad she is a part of the Dire Skates."

I, Bilbo, would like to add my two cents:

I specifically remember meeting Kellye and thinking she seemed quite intimidating. She has a stern demeanor and remains straight-faced much of the time. But I quickly discovered that she is actually the nicest person and you also know she will never lie to you, which is appreciated. She dishes out tough love and is always honest and she cares about her derby sisters more than anything. Once she yelled at me for not wearing my Dire Skates shirt when we were out at an event. I'd only tried out a few weeks prior and didn't quite feel like part of the team yet. She said that in fact I was and I should never go out without Dire gear again. Duly noted. I felt welcomed. And a little bit assaulted. It was perfect. Also, she waxes my mustache and I can't help but assume she likes doing her job because she likes torturing people and I appreciate that.

enTRUdir added this:

When it comes to picking a derby wife, you look for someone who personifies everything that you yourself want to be in derby. So, it was a 'no brainer' to ask Kellye to be mine. Kellye is the most level-headed person on the team, on and off track. She plays hard and everyone respects her 'cool head' and decision-making. As our goodwill/communication person, she heads off a lot of drama and really keeps the team together. On the track, I truly love blocking with Kellye. Just a look will tell you what she's going to do, and how she's going to do it. Now, with the advent of our juniors and Tony as our new Asst. Coach, it's really become a "family affair" for the Tenneys and I couldn't be more thrilled than to see them all there on the floor. We are truly blessed to have Kellye and her family with us - and I hope she stays my derby wife for a long time!

Mr. BadAZZ had this to say about his BadAZZ wife:

It's so much fun to be able to coach and skate with my wife. I am waiting for her to lay me out with a big hit at practice one of these days. I am very proud of all that she does with derby on and off the track; she is one of the best blockers on the team and is someone for all the derby team to come to if they need anything. I know she loves derby and always will.

Thank you for all you do, BadAZZ.

Derby love.

Junior Derby: The Skate Aways

Roller derby looks different in every city. Some larger cities, in addition to the women's team, also have men's teams or co-ed teams, some have leagues, which consist of multiple teams, some have multiple, unconnected teams and some have junior teams. Although Richmond isn't big enough to accommodate most of those things yet, we do have a growing junior derby team: The Skate Aways.

This is a relatively new adventure we are undertaking, but so far it has been successful! Kids ages 8-17 can join. They provide their own gear and pay monthly dues (just like us!), skate with the team Sundays 4-5pm, and get to participate in bout day activities. At our last home bout against Bone City, The Skate Aways made their debut and they rocked it!

Don't let the cuteness fool you.

For some reason we did not take a group pic of the juniors, but you can see a few of our Skate Aways in action. Left to right: Bomber Bailey, BadAZZ Brat, Korah the Destroyer, Zac Attack, Puke Skywalker, Homicidal Hamster, and Baby BadAZZ. Honey VooDoo and Trouble Clef are not pictured

After the introduction and the general display of junior awesomeness, The Skate Aways collected shout outs and sold popcorn for us. We will put them to more good use at future home bouts, making them demonstrate the rules of derby before the game starts and maybe having them do the half-time show!

Just kidding....we want all of your children.

Many of the The Skate Aways have a mom on the team, but not all. Non-derby parents still sit and watch their child rock the track though. During practice we work with juniors on basic skating skills such as stopping and falling and they work on endurance. They each play and practice at the level in which they test, but we take it slow. They work at their own pace and learn to feel confident and strong on their own accord.

The juniors skate hard and have a lot of fun.

We, as a team, work hard to create a fun, encouraging, and empowering environment for these awesome kids as they learn the power of derby!

Are you interested in getting your child into derby? Contact us! Speak with your favorite roller girl or message us with questions!

February Skater of the Month: The GOREgon

The GOREgon, aka Nat, blocks for the Dire Skates. Nat tried out in the late summer of 2013. She did not come during regular tryouts, but instead attended a practice and skated with the team because she wanted to see what things were all about after seeing Bilbo Stabbins and Ab Fab Eddie's excitement about the sport. Those first few practices were tough, but she kept coming back. Nat has gone from being an interested spectator to a true force on the team.

The GOREgon is new to the team, but that does not mean she hasn't taken up some derby duties. In fact, it is difficult to see how these things were getting done at all before she arrived. GOREgon has worked diligently on our headshots, group photos, and other pictures for the team. The new website is her domain as well (we know you can't see it, but we can and it looks great!). Nat has also been working hard with others to get us new jerseys, focusing both on the design and the logistics of ordering. In addition to team duties, The GOREgon works hard on herself; she is working hard mentally and physically to become the best player she can be and as my teammates and I can see, she has come so far!

In addition to the countless hours The GOREgon spends on derby, she works, reads all the books, and crafts all the things (in fact she even crafts derby things, making necklaces, shorts, and skirts for her derby sisters!).

Here is what our coach, The Golffather, had to say about The GOREgon: 

"Nat, "The GOREgon" is probably one of the most improved from when she first put on skates at that 1st practice. Her endurance is extremely improved and she continues the hard work both on and off the track. She is a great asset to the team and I am glad that she is with the Dire Skates."

And Terahrizin added this:

"I would say Nat is one of the most improved new skaters we have. The first time I met Nat she spent a fair amount of practice time laying on the floor complaining and in pain. The next few times were the same. Eventually (pretty quickly actually) she spend more time on her feet and talking about what she could do to get better. That is what derby is all about. Few of us are natural athletes. Falling down is ok, crying is ok, puking is ok……quitting is not.

Not only is Nat getting better and better on her skates, but she is also a major contributor to behind the scenes stuff for the team. Helping with pictures, working on the website, sewing shorts and skirts for teammates, working out extra and motivating everyone."

Thanks for all you do, GOREgon!

Diary of a New Recruit: Passing Laps and Getting Bout-Ready

As we have previously written about, going from being a new recruit to a full member of the team is complicated. The place where all of us new recruits have been "stuck" for a while is laps. This is one of the WFTDA minimum requirements--it requires all skaters to be able to skate 27 laps in five minutes on order to be able to play. Recently Jenocide passed her laps and in this past week Smack Widow and I, Bilbo Stabbins, also passed our laps, which means we are technically bout-ready!

Bilbo Stabbins passes laps and immediately needs a nap and afternoon tea.

Look at Smack Widow go! (Photo courtesy of Tuscan aka Honey VooDoo)

Saying we were excited is an understatement.

There were lots of hugs and everyone was (and is) so proud of us! But now what? We had been so focused on passing laps (which required gaining strength, endurance, and even agility), but now what are we working toward? Oh yeah, playing derby!

Smack Widow and I will both be playing our very first bout, which is coming up quite soon!

If you don't know this already, you have some catching up to do!

We are technically bout-ready, but are we really bout-ready? I am already nervous! How can I cope with my anxiety if I am already feeling like this? My co-lap-passer, Widow, came to the rescue when she sent me this blog, which outlines everything a skater should do to prep for bout number one (and probably for future bouts too!).

 "First, take a deep breath."

Oh, this is good stuff! I hadn't thought of that! What else? *takes deep breath*

"Get your boutfit together – make sure you have the appropriate jersey and that your number is printed at least 4 inches tall – make sure you have the right bottoms, tights, socks – find these items early so you can have a couple dress rehearsal practices (it is very annoying to be pulling at your clothes during the bout)

Tell EVERYONE you know that you will be skating so they can clear their calendar"

These are just a few of the many things the blog tells us to do. Most of it is common sense to a skater and many of the things we have to do even just before a practice (hydrate, make sure you have all your gear, eat healthy, etc.). But I am certainly going to reference this blog often in the coming weeks.

So here I am getting my Map of Middle Earth pants ready, channeling my inner Suzy Hotrod, and telling of you, derby fans, to come support your Dire Skates, new and old. We can't wait to see you!

--Bilbo Stabbins

Spotlight: Bilbo Stabbins

Name: Bilbo Stabbins

Number: 42 (The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything!)

Position: blocker

Tell us about your non-derby self: I am a married mother of two. I am an English professor. I enjoy renaissance festivals, zombies, reading, crafts, and naps.

Were you a fan of the Dire Skates before joining?: YES! I loved coming to the games and one day I just said “I have to do this.”

Why did you join roller derby?: I wanted to be a part of something that seemed really fun. Derby is accepting of all types of women and it empowers them to be the best version of themselves. We need more of that in the world.

What is your favorite part of roller derby?: It’s great exercise, the other women are amazing and inspiring, and it’s really just fun to skate around and knock over people.

What are your roller derby goals?: I hope to become stronger and more agile so I can be a good asset to the team. I also hope I can become a better player who inspires others to come play derby!

What do you hope Dire Skates can do for Richmond?: I hope the Dire Skates can inspire young women and young people to get active physically, to get proactive about achieving his or her personal goals (even if they are not derby-related), and to get active in the community.

What are you skating on right now?: I am on Riedell Rogues, with Atom Poison Wheels (for Townsend) or Fugitives (for The Skate) and Reds bearings.

If you could skate anywhere, anytime, where and when would it be and why?: Most of the places I would like to visit don’t have the terrain to allow for skating, but it would be pretty fun to skate around in The Colosseum or around the halls of the White House. Ooh, wait, the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, Buckingham Palace…I am indecisive. Everywhere. That’s my answer.

If you could have any famous person alive or dead join Dire Skates, who would it be and why?: Amanda Palmer, Melissa McCarthy, Pink, Tina Fey…basically any fun and/or smart woman, including some friends who I hope join in the future. I want to sweat all over my favorite women.

Tell us one thing you want us to know about yourself: I like to dance, but only in kitchens.

Tell us one thing about another skater: Terahrizin is an amazing motivator especially when she is singing Olivia Newton-John, DJ Smear-O has knives for bones, and Dragon Balllzy is so hot, but it’s a trick! She is strong and fast and will knock you over, cracking your tailbone, and leaving you in the dust. Brutal.

It's 'Bout Time

Editor's note: welcome back Jenocide and be sure to congratulate her! We are all quite proud of her. Also, be sure to read her previous post about passing her lap requirements.

Now that the crazy holidays are over, I finally have time to sit down and reflect on what is one of the coolest nights of my life. On December 8^th, I actually got to skate in my first bout, which was a mixed scrimmage with the Gem City Roller Girls. For those of you who were there, a HUGE thank you for supporting the Dire Skates. For those who weren’t there, SHAME ON YOU!  Just kidding.  The weather was pretty crap-tastic that day, so you are forgiven.

So many words come to mind when I think about the day: excited, pumped, and stoked are just a few. I had looked forward to this day for a long time.

One other word also comes to mind: N-E-R-V-O-U-S. Being a new skater out on the track with ladies who make me look like a baby deer on ice was more than a little intimidating.

I can totally see the likeness.

Upon arriving at the event location, I could feel the nerves settling in. Sweaty palms? Check. Tight gut? Double check. Doing my best to shake the nerves, I went and began to gear up. Looking around at my teammates, I realized that I was the only person on my team who didn’t have my skater number on my jersey. Cue panic in 5..4..3..2..1!  Thanks to the always wonderful BadAZZ Mothercutter, who quickly found a Sharpie and hooked a sister up. And with that, I was ready to hit the track.

Boom!

The bout was such an amazing experience. It was great to have my husband, kids, and parents in the crowd cheering me on. I actually got to play quite a bit and surprised myself with being able to keep up with veteran skaters. Also, I was on the winning team, which made it that much more awesome.  I am looking forward to our February bout already.  Be there or be square!

Jenocide